So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
