chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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