Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
