U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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