this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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