it wasn't lemon gatorade
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
