I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well I just put wine in my tea
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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