We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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