the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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