We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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