Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
