Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
