He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
