I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
