"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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