Yo dont text me then not text me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
