Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
