i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
