I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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