i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
