I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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