As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
