At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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