it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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