hotel room ftw
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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