Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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