You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
