Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
