yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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