Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
