he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
