I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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