I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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