We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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