Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Drake has all the answers
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize