I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
did you just send me my own nude
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
