SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
