he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
