wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
