Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
