I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
