Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
