we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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