how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize