Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
