Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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