I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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