I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
