Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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