No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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