I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize