I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
