Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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