We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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