Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
