For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
