Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
