girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
