I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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