I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
