Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
