Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
