I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
