Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
