Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
