doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
