He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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